So,
SCHOOL IS OUT! I am free! Finals are done and I can relax... for now. Just a quick update!
Liv
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Unfair
Hiya Peeps,
These past few days have been hard for me. I can't exactly remember if I've written this before but my dad has brain cancer. He has for a while and I've told this story way too many times. So, I'll just skip to Wednesday. A few surgeries and brain altering events later, I'm sitting in my room after walking home from school. It was just a regular afternoon but just one thing was different.
I had been deleting old photos from my dad's iPad. Just the ones from doodling apps and such. I'd found a photo of my dad on some holiday just recently after the first surgery. One thing you should know, my dad didn't really start to change until the second surgery. He had always been a very tall thin man. In that photo I saw him lookin' good. Now he isn't able to work and mostly sits on the couch and watches Netflix. He was a teacher before. And god he misses it.
Just seeing that photo made me so upset. I knew that I would never see that man again. I've said to myself again and again, he went in a man and came out a cripple. That was the second surgery. I love my dad so very very much and to see him like this.. well, it made me bawl. And I know it isn't his fault that he's this way now and that he can't do anything about it. I also know that if he hadn't had that second surgery, he'd probably be dead.
I do think about it sometimes. What if the cancer won? But I don't really see it as a battle. It's more like Sisyphus, rolling that stone up the hill in Hades. If you're not up on your mythology, Sisyphus rolled a giant rock up a hill and whenever he was almost to the top, the weight became too much and it fell back down again. That is what cancer is. After a surgery, you think that everything is so much better. Sometimes it is, but for my dad, it wasn't. Surgery, radiation, another surgery, and you find out he's got another one growing in the other side of his head. Like REALLY? You wanna be a jerk cancer?! You wanna? Seriously.
Sometimes I think how unfair life is. It's just a fact. A man can get away with rape and murder and the nicest man on the face of the earth can die of cancer. That is one reason I have trouble believing in god. I'm not going to get into that much because some might get offended, but that's just how I was raised. Another reason is that I love science. I believe in evolution and facts. So yeeeeaaaaahhh.
I guess that's it buds,
Olivia
These past few days have been hard for me. I can't exactly remember if I've written this before but my dad has brain cancer. He has for a while and I've told this story way too many times. So, I'll just skip to Wednesday. A few surgeries and brain altering events later, I'm sitting in my room after walking home from school. It was just a regular afternoon but just one thing was different.
I had been deleting old photos from my dad's iPad. Just the ones from doodling apps and such. I'd found a photo of my dad on some holiday just recently after the first surgery. One thing you should know, my dad didn't really start to change until the second surgery. He had always been a very tall thin man. In that photo I saw him lookin' good. Now he isn't able to work and mostly sits on the couch and watches Netflix. He was a teacher before. And god he misses it.
Just seeing that photo made me so upset. I knew that I would never see that man again. I've said to myself again and again, he went in a man and came out a cripple. That was the second surgery. I love my dad so very very much and to see him like this.. well, it made me bawl. And I know it isn't his fault that he's this way now and that he can't do anything about it. I also know that if he hadn't had that second surgery, he'd probably be dead.
I do think about it sometimes. What if the cancer won? But I don't really see it as a battle. It's more like Sisyphus, rolling that stone up the hill in Hades. If you're not up on your mythology, Sisyphus rolled a giant rock up a hill and whenever he was almost to the top, the weight became too much and it fell back down again. That is what cancer is. After a surgery, you think that everything is so much better. Sometimes it is, but for my dad, it wasn't. Surgery, radiation, another surgery, and you find out he's got another one growing in the other side of his head. Like REALLY? You wanna be a jerk cancer?! You wanna? Seriously.
Sometimes I think how unfair life is. It's just a fact. A man can get away with rape and murder and the nicest man on the face of the earth can die of cancer. That is one reason I have trouble believing in god. I'm not going to get into that much because some might get offended, but that's just how I was raised. Another reason is that I love science. I believe in evolution and facts. So yeeeeaaaaahhh.
I guess that's it buds,
Olivia
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